Charlie Sheen VS Barney Stinson

Over the past few days/weeks, Charlie Sheen has become something of a folk hero for the hard-partying, hard-living catchphrase loving set. But before there was WINNING, there was LEGENDARY. Before TIGERBLOOD there was SUIT UP. Before there was PAYING FOR SEX there was USING YOUR OWN INITIATIVE. So how does Chucky Sheen stack up against the King Of Awesome? Let’s compare.

Early Life

Carlos Estevez was born into a Hollywood family, being the son of Martin Sheen and Janet Templeton, in New York City in 1965. He has two brothers and a sister, who are all actors. He made his first movie appearance at age 9, in his father’s 1974 film The Execution Of Private Slovik. Building a career for based on your family name instead of your own ability isn’t cool, so its -1 point for Sheen.

Barney Stinson, on the other hand, was born in 1976 and raised in Staten Island, to Loretta Stinson  and either Bob Barker +1 or Jerome Whittaker(?) -1. Barney has one brother, James, who is African-American, and gay. (+1 for Barney for diversity) As a child, Barney dreamt of being a violinist -1 and was a hippy who dreamt of joining the Peace Corps.

Score: Sheen 1 Stinson 1

Career

Sheen, currently unemployed -1 is best known for his roles in Wall Street +1, Hot Shots! +1 Hot Shots! Part Deux +1 and for being the unfunny guy on Two & A Half Men -1.

Stinson is a Highest Level Executive +1 at Goliath National Bank +1, and is one of the few bankers who has managed to maintain his career and lifestyle throughout the economic crisis of 2007 – present. He is also the author of the bestseller The Bro Code +1.

Score: Sheen 1 Stinson 3

Ladies’ Man

Sheen has been married 3 times -3 and is known for sleeping with porn stars +1 and for paying for prostitutes -5. He is also known to have threatened ex-wife Denise Richards with physical abuse -1 and to have shot his ex-fiancee, Kelly Preston, in the arm -2. On August 2, 2008, Sheen plead guilty to misdemeanour assault against then-wife Brooke Mueller as part of a plea bargain -2. His most famous conquests have been the aforementioned actresses and prostitutes.

Barney Stinson has never been married +1 and is known for sleeping with more than 200 women +5, none of which, to this writer’s knowledge, have been prostitutes +1. Stinson has had two serious relationships in his life, one of which was in college, and the other was early morning news anchor Robin Scherbatsky. His most famous conquest- ‘that chick from Days Of Our Lives' +1

Score: Sheen -12 Stinson 8

Catchphrases

Stinson is known for his catchphrases Suit Up +1 which has led to International Suit-Up Day (October 13) +1, Legendary +1, wait for it +1, Challenge Accepted! +1 and True Story +1. His Awesome! And AWESOMENESS have their own successful line of posters +1 and have become ubiquitous in popular culture, to the point that Awesome! Has been co-opted by WWE Champion The Miz -1

Score: Sheen 2 Stinson 6

Known Character Flaws

 Sheen is also a confirmed alcoholic and drug addict, who has done numerous stints in rehabilitation facilities -2.

Stinson is a social drinker +1 and has had no known drug problems +1. He is a gambling addict -1 and has an inability to decline challenges, no matter how ridiculous they are -1

Score: Sheen -2 Stinson 0

Final Score: Sheen -10 Stinson 18

And the winner by a full 28 points, Barney Stinson!